Trying my best

Day Thirty-Nine: 10/25/2022

It was one of the more uneventful days. I was more surprised that I made it to work than anything else today. I was enjoying a spring relationship, unfortunately, it only lasted two seasons. It was a great Spring and Summer with this one. Well, it has now ended. It wasn’t entirely mutual, but there wasn’t anything else that could have been said between us. Somethings just don't work out. Sometimes, people just don’t work out. We may want it to work so much that we try to over compromise on key aspects of the relationship.

Anyway, I’ve been crying for days. However, I managed to make it to the job. Along with my puffy blood-shot eyes. I walked the halls. Despondent and devastated about another failed relationship. I’m feeling so upset that something else I wanted ended. Everything ends, nothing lasts forever, but I hate when things end before I’m ready. This has been the worst year of my adult life. These last twelve months have felt like sloshing through a putrid bog. Oh look, another mess I have to clean!

Day Forty: 10/26/2022

It wasn’t a milestone day at work. I managed to get myself together. To at least perform the minimal amount of work needed. I mean, it’s not super hard. I just have to do a hairstyle, slip on the teal overalls, and bike the five minutes to clock in. Since I don't need to speak to anyone to get paid, I could breakdown from time to time. Moments and minutes to express my sadness.

Day Forty-One: 10/27/2022

There are some people that spark joy when they have to yell or scold children. I’m not one of those. I actively avoid speaking to anyone if I can manage it, especially this week. Yet, there was a band concert and these sloppy wet teenagers were running amok. I don't become irate when they are just being young, but when stupid people play with trash while I'm cleaning, I'll become a disgruntled custodian.

Day Forty-Two: 10/28/2022

Autumn is so beautiful. The colors brighten my day even when I’m despondent. The crimson, apricot, and bright yellows are extremely illuminated as the sun is at its peak. My eyes are filled with tears. Agony has strained my face. I shouldn’t take my troubles into the job, but I literally had to clean up a poop puddle. I use my pain as payment to reciprocate the indignities I perform regularly.

I'm trying my best, but is it enough?