Teal with Envy

I’m currently working as a custodian for The Denver School of the Arts. I’ve been chronicling my experiences through social media and this blog post. I put a lot of my own complaints and frustrations down, primarily to accurately portray my true experiences. No filter. There are good days of course. One day, this could be sort of a memoir.

I refer to myself as The Teal Fairy because this is a character that I’ve created. I hope to one day write about The Teal Fairy going back to school to protect those that have the potential to grow and flourish. Schools need more fairies over firearms to ensure the safety of the youth. I also use The Teal Fairy persona as my way of expressing myself creatively outside of the written word.

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

Day Five Hundred & Seventy-eight: 4/14/2025

Is it over yet? Cause I’m so over the stupidity that lies inside the brains of these students. I also don’t have a strong admiration for my coworkers either. It all stems from little annoyances that I had to deal with today. Like, why did some boy have to make a mess in the bathroom. I’m not sure if it was urine, but some liquid was all over the floor and poured over the toilet paper, making the product useless. Then, there was the fact that no one stocked the 7th grade girl’s bathroom. Like completely out. I had to work at the elementary school on Friday. So, it wasn’t checked on Friday or Saturday. When I tried to stock it, the bathroom was occupied when classes were commencing. How am I expected to do my job when the student’s aren’t in their fucking class?

Don’t worry, I stocked it and cleaned up the messes. I don’t want to be here and these little incidents make it much more difficult to keep going. I can’t take a ton of sick days without it looking somewhat suspicious. It wouldn’t look good if everyone called out again like last week. I honestly don’t mind doing my job if these stupid students would respect the space.

Day Five Hundred & Seventy-nine: 4/15/2025

Ugh! I had to be at the elementary school again tonight. There were two clogged toilets full of feces. At least ten that hadn’t been flushed. I wasn’t going to put my nose to the tile to confirm, but there was clearly pee on the bathroom floor. I’m always utterly disgusted in this building. It’s not what I want to deal with and I’m honestly not influenced by the innocence of youth. When you have to put up signs to not pee on the floor, then you and I won’t have anything to commiserate about. I know I complain about DSA all of the time, but that’s because I have expectations for the art students. When I’m at the elementary school, I’m just asking that I don’t have to see your shit! Literally.

Luckily, I only have to cover for this coworker one more time next week. Then, I’ll be done forever. I have the 29th off, so I won’t have to provide any sort of coverage. I’m very much over this little stint. We’ve been providing this coverage since September and I believe that I’ve done my duties for the team. One more day done and closer and closer to me saying goodbye to this profession.

Day Five Hundred & Eighty: 4/16/2025

My attitude started off rocky, but I think I’m going to end my day in a decent mood. So there’s something! I was given a head’s up that we were going to have to work outside this week because apparently, we aren’t going to have any students. I really do have a major disdain for any outside work. I barely tolerate my inside work, why would you want to put me outside? It just creates a furious fairy. I wasn’t at all agreeable about it either.

Well, I ended up only having to be outside for a little over an hour and a half. Unlike yesterday, where they had to pull weeds for four hours. Since we still had events going on we needed to ensure the building was kept clean. Except, I didn’t have to vacuum. The rooms were very much intact and there was barely any trash.

I took my time to look over some of my writings. I’m still going over Magick in Montague County and I’m working on a new dark novel called Afraid of Gloom. These pieces mean a lot to me and I want to make them as pristine as I possibly can. If I have some extra mind waves then I’d like to devote it to my creative endeavors. I still had to clean some bathrooms, but since they were hardly used it really didn’t mean I had to exhort myself.

I’m ending my evening as a building supervisor for a contract worker. They need to do some work on the roof and I’m doing an overnight shift. I’m expected to stay until 4am. The contractor has arrived and I’m grateful for the extra hours. It will come in handy for the next couple of months.

Day Five Hundred & Eighty-one: 4/17/2025

I shed a few tears tonight. The reason? Jealousy. I’m so utterly jealous that these kids get to dance and be creative. I wanted dance to be a big part of my life, but it's now become a distant memory. Part of my past that I reflect on with agony rather than admiration. I was checking to see if the dance performance had concluded and I approached right at the end of a routine. The applause and exultation was palpable to my inner soul. I walked away crying because I wish I could feel that sensation again. Nothing in my life has compared to that feeling of being on stage. Performing.

Perhaps I’ll find a way to get that sensation again, but I know it won’t come from being a custodian in the trenches. I know I’m appreciated and even admired by some, but it hasn’t filled the void that I feel when I think about what these kids have and what I don’t have. I don’t want to be jealous of a 12 year old, but when I think about my life at their age I’m only reminded of what I’ve suffered compared to their privilege.

I think I’ve lost any joy that I had in this job. I’m appreciative that I was able to use my spare time to work on my writings, but overall I only feel disdain. At least I didn’t have to do any outside work today. It was a usual day and I needed it. I was able to get to sleep last night when I got home at 4 am, but I’ve been tired all day long. I look forward to crawling into my bed again tonight.

Day Five Hundred & Eighty-two: 4/18/2025

Finally made it to Friday. Though, my productivity drastically diminished as the week progressed. By today, I didn’t have any interest in working hard. I barely did the bare minimum. We didn’t have students and since I performed my normal duties I didn’t feel like putting out any additional effort. Seriously, I didn’t want to be here and my attitude shows.

We had a few events so I still had to do work after they left. I swear there’s always some remnants of people and I’m getting tired of picking up after them. Somehow, there were fragments of flowers scattered all throughout the hallway. I don’t know how they got there and it happens every time they set up their booster booth. I suppose they need to raise funds for the programs, but they always leave more of a mess.

I’m just venting because I’m trying to maintain my employment for another five weeks. I’m curious if I’m going to be able to do it without quitting outright from frustration from the situations that nag at my very core. This job has given me much more appreciation for any type of sanitation or custodial employee.