Levels of Expectations

I’m currently working as a custodian for The Denver School of the Arts. I’ve been chronicling my experiences through social media and this blog post. I put a lot of my own complaints and frustrations down, primarily to accurately portray my true experiences. No filter. There are good days of course. One day, this could be sort of a memoir.

I refer to myself as The Teal Fairy because this is a character that I’ve created. I hope to one day write about The Teal Fairy going back to school to protect those that have the potential to grow and flourish. Schools need more fairies over firearms to ensure the safety of the youth. I also use The Teal Fairy persona as my way of expressing myself creatively outside of the written word.

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

Day Five Hundred & Fifty-six: 3/3/2025

My oh my, did I not want to work today. But, apparently, I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. One of my coworkers decided to take yet another personal day, because, of course, they did. I wouldn’t begrudge them a much-needed break, except for the small detail that they also took last Monday off. At this point, it’s less of a personal day and more of a recurring Monday vanishing act. A pattern is forming, and honestly, it’s one that needs some serious readjustment.

Still, despite being short a person, I managed to check off a full list of self-care before clocking in. Therapy? Gym? Full face of makeup? Biking through a wind tunnel like a determined but slightly disheveled protagonist in a coming-of-age film? Check!

The real struggle, though, was keeping the momentum going once I actually got to work. If I had been busy nonstop, maybe I could have powered through on autopilot. But the moment I had any downtime, the meh set in, and my motivation evaporated like a puddle in the Texas sun. Don’t worry I still completed all my necessary tasks. Just don’t expect me to go above and beyond when we’re understaffed. If we’re running at 75%, my effort will reflect that. No extra detailing, no unnecessary exertion. Just vibes and the bare minimum.

Other than that, it was a pretty standard day. No catastrophic messes that made me question humanity, just the usual chaos. At this point, nothing really surprises me. The real victory is that I’m inching closer to my much-needed eleven-day vacation. Three more weeks to go. The countdown is officially on.

Day Five Hundred & Fifty-seven: 3/4/2025

Today, I had no excuse. We were fully staffed, which meant one thing: detail work. Dammit! I truly aspire to do nothing more than the bare minimum, and yet, here I was, scrubbing, tidying, and tending to tasks that I would much rather ignore. Ironically, going above and beyond feels beneath me.

I’m not here to be an overachiever, a go-getter, or a workplace warrior. I’m not trying to win Employee of the Month. I’m not even trying to win Employee Who Slightly Tries. I’m simply here to exist, complete the essentials, and glide through unnoticed.

That said, while I have no interest in being a rock star at work, I’ll certainly try to look like one. If I’m doomed to a day of excessive effort, I might as well do it with a little style.

Day Five Hundred & Fifty-eight: 3/5/2025

I want to quit right now. I want to say “I’m done” and walk out as disgruntled as I feel. Why you may ask? Because we got our score from the QA. We never seem to do good enough. Even when I’m putting extra effort, it’s not good enough. I’m so frustrated. I can’t stand this job. Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! I really thought that I did a decent job last night, but apparently not. I can’t seem to meet the standards, but that feeling only defeats me. It doesn’t make me want to work harder, just makes me want to quit!

I’m nettled by the information that was presented today. I feel like I’m doing the minimum and it’s apparently not good enough. How embarrassing! I’m college educated and I’m constantly striving to improve my intelligence with books and podcasts. Yet, I can’t seem to meet the standards laid out in front of me in a custodial capacity?

Though, I’ll state that our school has yet to meet these standards since I’ve been employed at DSA. We are supposed to score a 67 to meet the standards of the district, and today we only scored a 63. In the last three years we haven’t been able to score a 70. Like the school is clean and it’s not being neglected, only we are receiving subpar evaluations. It's disheartening and it doesn’t make me want to work harder, just quit.

Well, I didn’t. I can’t afford to leave the job without notice. I’d need something else lined up or have some financial security that would allow me to be unemployed for at least 6 months. I’m no where near that sort of financial independence. Not like my writing has afforded me the lifestyle that I’d like.

To try and appease the disappointment from my superiors I did a little bit extra in the bathrooms. Because I received such a bad review, I performed a few necessary tasks to make it appear that I’ve taken the QA seriously. Just in case anyone goes into my bathrooms and gives them a closer look.

Another positive element of the night is that the event that we had ended early. Everyone was out of the building by 8:30 PM, meaning I didn’t have to wait to do the bathrooms. When we have events I have to patiently bide my time until they’ve exited before I can perform my duties. That wasn’t the case tonight. I’m also one more day closer to my vacation. I’m striving to find any positivity in the sea of negativity that I’m swimming in.

Day Five Hundred & Fifty-nine: 3/6/2025

Oh, to be perpetually in charge while earning exactly zero extra compensation, my absolute favorite workplace perk! But, in all fairness, my crew lead deserves his well-earned time off. That being said, his absence meant yours truly was left holding the metaphorical clipboard, ensuring my coworkers actually did their jobs, setting the alarm, and making sure no intruders waltzed in after hours.

To make matters worse, we had an event tonight, which means one thing: middle schoolers. Misguided, overstimulated, sugar-fueled middle schoolers. They dashed through the halls like caffeinated squirrels, making a mess of everything in their wake. It was pure chaos.

By 9 PM, the patrons had finally cleared out, but my work was far from over. I had to wait to clean the bathrooms because, like clockwork, these geniuses love strolling in while I’m literally power-washing the floors. Because nothing says let’s go pee like watching a janitor blast water at industrial strength.

As the night wrapped up, I still had to resweep the hallway, double-check the trash, and make sure every last door was locked. By the time I finally sat down, it was after 10 PM. Hardly enough time to process my exhaustion, let alone rehash my thoughts for this blog. But here I am, typing through the fatigue, because if I don’t vent somewhere, I might just scream.

Day Five Hundred & Sixty: 3/7/2025

Made it to Friday and it was payday! The main positive aspect of this job is the monetary compensation. Though, I’ve made far more money in other professions in my past. This is the only job that has allowed me to actively pursue my creative endeavors. Like right now, I’m listening to Middlemarch by George Eliot. It’s a classic and the prose is exquisite. Sometimes I get a little lost in the story, but it’s a pristine representation of life in the early 19th century. No way would I have had time to devote to devouring this bit of literature in my other jobs.

While I’m listening to profoundly poignant passages I’m also having to deal with phallic representations. I wouldn’t even call them dick pics because there’s no proper renditions. This is an art school, I would expect some level of artistry. Yet, I’m more disappointed in the expressionism than the fact that I have to get graffiti remover once again. Lately, the school has been getting tagged with dick drawings all over the place. Each one a sadder excuse than the last. Where are the veins, where’s the curvature, where’s the pubic hair? I’m honestly expecting more.